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Reclaiming Pleasure and Building Self Trust.
For many survivors of trauma, reconnecting with their own bodies can feel overwhelming or even impossible. The effects of trauma often disrupt our ability to experience trust—both in others and in ourselves. But healing is possible, and reclaiming pleasure can be a powerful step toward that healing.
At Survivor School, we recently sat down with certified sex coach and host of What Excites Us! podcast, Gwyn Isaacs, to explore how trauma affects our relationship with our bodies and what steps we can take to rebuild trust and connection with ourselves.
Gwyn emphasizes that this process is not about “fixing” ourselves—it’s about rediscovering what feels safe and empowering in our own skin.
The Effects of Trauma on the Body
Trauma impacts more than just the mind—it leaves a lasting imprint on the body. Gwyn shared:
"Trauma dysregulates the nervous system, holds tension in the muscles, and impacts brain function. This is why talk therapy alone often isn’t enough. We need somatic practices that work with the body to truly heal."
For many, this disconnection from the body can manifest as shame, fear, or even numbness, particularly when it comes to pleasure. Gwyn notes that survivors may feel like their bodies have betrayed them or that they’ve “lost” the ability to feel joy or intimacy. But this disconnection isn’t permanent—healing is possible, one intentional step at a time.
Shifting the Narrative Around Shame
Shame often serves as a barrier to healing. Gwyn reminds us:
"There is no shame in how your body responded to trauma, or how it responds now. Your body did what it needed to survive."
Understanding this can be liberating. Healing is not about erasing the past but about finding new ways to connect with yourself, at your own pace and on your own terms.
Why Pleasure Matters
Pleasure isn’t just about feeling good—it’s a healing tool. Whether it’s through music, art, laughter, or physical sensation, experiencing pleasure helps to regulate the nervous system, lower cortisol levels, and release oxytocin (the “feel-good” hormone).
"Pleasure reconnects us with our humanity," "It helps us shift from survival mode to a place of connection and safety."
But here’s the key: pleasure is deeply personal. It’s not about meeting anyone else’s expectations; it’s about finding what feels good and safe for you.
A Roadmap to Reconnection
Gwyn offers a practical framework for starting the journey toward reclaiming trust and pleasure in your body:
Create Guardrails Build a “comfort toolkit” to ground yourself when emotions arise. This might include soothing music, a favorite blanket, or uplifting videos. Gwyn recommends keeping this list easily accessible for moments when you feel overwhelmed.
Start Small Healing doesn’t happen overnight. Begin with one manageable practice, like journaling, taking a mindful walk, or exploring self-pleasure as an act of love rather than release.
Reflect and Celebrate After engaging in a practice, take time to assess how you feel. Did it bring even a small sense of peace or joy? Celebrate that progress—it helps rewire your brain to recognize and seek out positivity.
Ready to Begin Your Journey?
Reclaiming trust and pleasure in your body is a journey, and you don’t have to take it alone. Join us for an upcoming masterclass with Gwyn Isaacs, where we’ll explore practical tools and compassionate insights to help you, trust yourself, reconnect with your body and rediscover pleasure without shame.
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