I survived murder.

I think it's about time I shared my story and how I got to where I am today. ( and Yes this post is a little more Touchy-Feely, but don't worry, if you're here for the #TRUECRIME I will also share a link to a great podcast Interview I did with Dave Markel of SASS Podcast - where I spare no details!

OK so here goes:

Two days before my 37th birthday I was kidnapped. I was held captive for 4 days, tortured, beaten, raped multiple times, and I escaped just as a knife pierced my throat;

I survived murder.

But the hardest part wasn't those 4 days of hell; it was quietly crying alone, listening to the beeping of the machines in my hospital room. It was the year of painful physical therapy and the emotionally exhausting legal proceedings with no justice being served. It was constantly looking over my shoulder, trying to pick up the shattered pieces of my life, desperately trying to get back to work and salvage friendships. It was having to look at myself in the mirror and it was the sleepless nights asking myself: "Why does this keep happening to me?!"

I remember one day in the hospital I overheard two of my friends talking in the hallway outside my room. One of them whispered-

"This is going to ruin her whole life!"

She was right. Statistically - a trauma like this ruins a woman's life. Reeking havoc on her mental and physical well-being as well as having a massive impact on her financial stability and shattering her sense security in her relationships in addition to the shame of social stigmas. What my friend didn't know was that this wasn't the first traumatic experience...

In fact, trauma had been ruining my whole life.

As a child, I was sexually abused from about 4 until I was 13, and I spent the next 25 years of my life living one crisis to the next, trying to hide my shame and anxiety from the world. I bounced from one job to the next, moving 13 times in 12 years, I had a lifetime of unfinished projects, disappointed family and toxic relationships. I was living in a constant state of fear and shame just trying to keep up. I felt like I was stuck in the Freddy Krueger version of the movie Groundhog's Day- living one crisis to the next, always just trying to survive, until the day I almost didn't.

I knew that if something didn't change, I wouldn't survive the "next time."

I knew that I wasn't going to overcome a life time of sexual trauma in 1-hour a week in a therapist's office. I went on a desperate search to find out how to undo the damage. I wanted solutions, not just coping mechanisms for the symptoms. I wanted to stop the physical and emotional pain, and I wanted to stop the trauma cycle that prevented me from being happy and living a productive meaningful life.

I made healing my #1 Priority. I did the work. Everyday. It wasn't always easy, and I have made plenty of mistakes along the way. (And I will probably make a bunch more.) But I am dedicated to learning from them and most importantly I keep moving forward. I am not a very touchy-feely, 'let's hold hands a sing Kumbaya' kind of girl, but will admit for the first time in probably my whole life I am damn proud of who I have become and I am in love with the life I have built for myself. But honestly, I am more excited about helping YOU overcome your trauma and build your Unapologetically Awesome Life!

And for all you True Crime fans:

You can listen here to Part 1 of the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories Podcast (S.A.S.S) with Dave Markel for an exclusive interview where I get raw an very vulnerable and spare no details.

And Here is Part 2 :

Thanks for joining me- and remember I get you, and I've got you. Always know you can reach out when you are ready to kick your trauma's ass and build an unapologetically awesome life!

XOXO

~Arci